Dear Diary,
Today I realised that in many ways, I am still that little Whitney who feared that good things never stay. I was catching up on Tony Gaskins’ videos, and one of them got me curious about how scarcity manifests in more ways than the financial areas of our lives. So I read a bit of literature on the psychology of poverty online.
You should have seen my face when I was reading some of this stuff. One article totally felt like an honest review of my money life written by a stranger and left me wondering if I am being followed around!
While I am doing much better with money management now, I still exhibit some signs of the scarcity mentality that I read about. Yees, I knooow I have been re-sharing all these profound quotes about being healthy and wealthy on my IG *rolls eyes.
The thing is, I did not think I had a scarcity mindset because I grew up with enough. We were not rich but not poor either. Yet here we are, Diary! Here is where the oblivion ends, though, because I will intentionally do better going forward.
For beginners, I reflected and identified the areas in my life where scarcity mindset manifests. My findings:
The Process
Remember when I was working three jobs, pursuing my bachelor’s degree, and breathing in 2013? Well, things haven’t changed much. I am constantly balancing one act after another, flipping out of one hat into another. I am grateful for my desire for excellence and extensive concentration bandwidth, but I have to stop believing that this means that resting is living beneath my potential.
My relentless grind has come with bountiful earnings and opportunities. However, because I have been like the farmer who keeps all their harvest locked up in the store, fearing a supposed upcoming famine, the abundance comes with anxiety and paranoia of vulture friends and fraudulent investors. So I hold on tight to what I have. Only to look at gigantic mansions in high-end areas back home and realise that I cannot afford any of them. This brings in a new worry of not having enough, and we are back to square one. Abeg!
I am used to a life on the grind. So instead of looking for progressive solutions to multiply what I have, including investment or ways of working smart and making more with less, I’d revert to what was familiar – working my $%&$ off.
I am more mindful of rest now, but not too long ago, I was in shock whenever I had free time! God forbid I turned Netflix on; I felt like the whole world was watching me be lazy.
The Outcomes
- I compare my growth to where I have come from and those I grew up around instead of those living in the kind of abundance I am currently in and aspiring to dwell in.
- Panicking that I have less time for personal growth, and everyone will smarten up and pass me. Basically, competing with ghosts and strangers.
- Conditioning my body to be an excellent tool that can make more outputs and require less input.
- Overstaying in environments and seasons, justifying it as endurance and patience.
- Viewing rest as derailment that needs to be minimised at all costs.
Action Plan
Here I come abundance!
Love,
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