Dear Basic Lover,
Growing up, I looked forward to romantic love. I imagined this tall, dark, handsome and able man who would bring me a fresh red rose ever so often and leave me with a kiss on my forehead each time we parted ways.
I looked forward to a partner in a lover, a friend…someone who would love me every day even on the days I fell short of his preferences and expectations.
I looked forward to honesty and integrity, and even in seasons of fault and misunderstanding there would be purpose to actively pursue restitution and the rebuilding of trust.
I prepared for this passionate and ambitious human being who would consistently want to be better for himself on a daily basis, and better for us. Through whom I would see hardwork and leadership, and fall in love with chasing them myself. I prepared myself by learning how to be equally enthusiastic about my growth and impact as a woman.
I hoped to learn how it felt to truly trust in someone and let my guard down without anxiety.
Then I met you,…the basic lover.
Before we’re in love we’re at war with our egos and building all these walls then climbing over them the next day. It’s almost like the depth of each other’s love is determined by how many world wars we survive. I’m constantly trying to prove myself to you in a bid to win you over.
When I’m back from the world, where good deeds and hardwork aren’t always rewarded, I find you and your basic love on the couch equally demotivated, and with zero intentions of making your life better. So I’m forced to have enough strength and ambition for two. On some days, I’m running on empty but I push myself to serve for two. Isn’t this what unconditional love is all about,…being the bread and butter when your partner is down and out?
Because of your basic love, infidelity is now seeming like something the society is accepting as things that are happening to everyone. But this is where I draw my line, I promise you. I’m ready to leave at the sight of a text message I don’t like – just a text! Your fellow basic lovers have told me that I’m extreme and petty for practicing this. But isn’t life too fragile to live in dishonesty? Because one day it will be a text, and the next time it will be you siring a baby made on our matrimonial bed with another woman, then me publicly carrying your shame as my own.
See what your lackluster love has done to me. I’m almost giving up on my what I dreamed romantic love would be as I grew up. I’m starting to wonder if all this while I have been naive and if I should drop my expectations and be a basic lover as well. Happy now?
I want God to tell me that I have indeed been naive but until then, me and you cannot sit on the same table of negotiation. I am okay with saying I loved too much. Go on and continue being okay with saying you were careful and safe. My beauty in humanity will continue to reside in seeing your true sense and your insecurities yet still find you beautiful- whether you fight it or not. You, my friend, will neither know nor understand the truly, madly, deeply kind of love.
I agree that there isn’t a manual to love, neither is there a defined path to true love. But with the fragility of life…one day you’re here the next you’re six feet under…unconditional, deep and intense love should prevail.
Looking forward to the end of your regime.
Yours Dissatisfied,
Comments are closed.