I had kept him waiting for two hours. Definitely not the best of mannerism for a first date. I felt deeply sorry as I rushed through Moi Avenue and even more penitent when I got to the café and realized how uncomfortable he must have been, dawdling in that hot, humid and uncomfortably crowded room.
We had met on Tinder and talked a lot before planning to meet two months later. Out of all my matches on the casual dating app, I liked how consistent, persistent and charming he seemed. I was eager to meet this man who went by the alias Your Future.
He managed a smile and a hug. Unfortunately, the wrath in his eyes was as evident as a lighthouse at sea.
“I’m sorry I’m late. My errands took longer than expected,” I said whilst smiling, too hard perhaps, to elate my date.
After exchanging pleasantries, I suggested that we head upstairs to the lounge, which was usually quieter and lavished with a pampering breeze.
“So tell me a little about you,” I asked as I drew my glass of wine closer.
“There’s nothing to tell. I’m easier to figure out with time,” he said.
“Okay. What do you enjoy then?”
“Mmh…music. Mostly solitude,” he said.
Wait…is this the man I have been chatting with online? Who has replaced Mr. Charming Persistent with Mr. Cold Dry? I thought.
His shoulder-up was a masterpiece of creation. Amazing brown eyes. Bald and bearded. His smile…have you ever met someone whose smile was so mind blowing that when they smile you find yourself smiling too, like a retard? But as the conversation went on, getting more drily by the minute, all his goodness flickered into the image of a red devil with six horns and a chainsaw tearing through my emotional capacity.
“You look like the no nonsense type. The kind that does not take shit. Which is intimidating to men,” he said.
“I do? Wow. I hate that that would be the first thing anyone would notice about me,” I said, my voice gradually shifting from a mumble to a whisper.
“So why are you single?”
“I simply haven’t met anyone who has made me feel the urge to get off the market.”
“You know, we are very much alike. On my free time I smoke some weed. You should try it,” he said.
“I have never tried weed. I have an uncle who does a lot of it and right now he is far from sane. He actually quit his job and has since befallen some Rastafarian religion where the answer to everything is Jah will provide,” I responded.
“That’s laced weed. I’ll provide you with the good stuff. Trust me. Besides, I think you need it.”
I need it? Ha. Okay! Don’t you know me so well already, I thought distastefully.
“No, thanks.”
“You have trust issues, don’t you? Weed will help you,” he retorted.
“You’re making me feel like I have issues,” I said.
“No way! What I am saying is…” Blah blah…yada yada…what followed was advice on how I should loosen up and smoke some weed.
I sat there looking like a painting taped to a wall. Helpless and stuck. I really can’t explain why I didn’t fake a seizure or walk away at least. Eventually, it got to a point where we had nothing to say and the date ended anesthetically. We haven’t spoken since.
Technology served me beautifully and generously a few years ago, as far as dating was concerned. What happened to the first date being all about having fun? Or enjoying each other’s company till the food runs cold? In my perspective, the experience while on a date should resemble that of visiting a museum. You feast your eyes to diversity. Explore the beauty of the mind of others. Enjoy. Learn. Make helpful and powerful connections.
What gives anyone the right to call out another person on what you think is wrong with them? Someone you’ve only known for a hot minute. And even recommend what they should smoke up to level up to your definition of normal? That’s just rude. And with that said Tinder is whack!
I definitely want to hear your online dating experience and/or weird date stories. Share!
After work, I would pass by the park on my way home to entertain myself with a few of 
At the end of the trip, I felt different. More like I had a new set of eyes. I had also grown to love someone from Afghanistan, China, Indonesia, Morocco, Pakistan, Serbia, Taiwan, Tunisia and Turkey. I miss you guys. When the project was coming to an end, we had to set ourselves up in groups and prepared short films. During the gala night, my team’s film won the Most Creative Film Award. I am enormously grateful to everyone who gave me the experience of a lifetime; the MMF’14 organising commitee topping the list.
The highlights of my trip reside in this picture. I met someone who changed my whole perspective of love and true connection between human beings. You…yes you, will always be a part of me. And I hope that everyone who gets to be with you every day, loves you as you deserve.
Christopher Poindexter, one of my favorite poets, wrote truth. Mmmh…pen or gun?
Anna was introduced to laced marijuana by her boyfriend. When she realized that the drug made her resilient to the sadness synonymous with being at home, she made it her comfort zone. Five months into smoking, she became violent and withdrawn. She would not return home for days or even weeks which worried her parents who took her to a psychiatrist. Here, not much was established so they took her a hospital for blood sampling. It was discovered that she had taints of bhang. She became defensive and even more rebellious.
So when you wake up tomorrow, will you pick up the pen or the gun?
She made her first debut in 2006. Till now she has done Kitu Kimoja, Mama, Chokoza (featuring Marya) and Najivunia (featuring Trapee). She has also won several awards which include Chaguo La Teeniez Best Female Artiste (2011 and 2012), Nzumari Best Female Artiste 2011 Award, Kisima Award and Boomba Artiste of the Year 2012. In 2010, she was nominated for the Channel O Music Video Awards. In that category, she was competing against Nameless, Wyre, Shaa Khan (Tanzania) and Obita (South Africa). She did not win but felt entirely proud of the nomination.
“Love is care, honesty, trust, security. I can only settle for a man who gives 100% of these. Marrying a man with an incompatible chart is acceptable for me only if there are things to learn from each other and talk about as well,” she said.
“Positive attracts Positive. This is why I like optimists and people who add value to my life. I usually monitor posts on my social media accounts and block the pessimists and abusive followers.” She also believes in the superiority of family and respect for one’s home. This is why no one enters her home except her very close friends and family. Other principles she lives by are highly influenced by her icons Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, Chris Kirubi and Richard Branson. Altogether, they inspire her to help the youth and teach her how to blend business and fun.
Television life aside, some of you are living your very own soap operas with exes whose insanity runs from showing up at your door step with a million and something apologies, love songs or poems. How about that one who is bombarding your office desk with roses and gifts? Then there is the other one who should be blacklisted by mobile service providers for the endless phone calls, texts and voice messages. Also, there is the good Samaritan type who do monthly shopping and are more than willing to buy a house and/or take care of your children whether theirs or not. We dare not forget the wild, venomous ones. These are the exes we all either hate and have or hate to have. They besmirch you on the internet, at the office, midst your friendship circles. Everyone knows everything that is wrong with you as far as spousal duties is concerned.
Every place where the bus stops, someone has to get off. When someone’s time with you is up, let it be. In fact , do everything in your power to cut them off. They had their time with you and wasted it, end of story. File a restraining order against them if you have to. Heck, even shift to another area if you can. You could also do it *Brandon’s way; set clear boundaries in a firm but friendly way, cut contact with the friends you and your ex had in common, clear all their things from your place and take care of the child peacefully and responsibly.
As I wrap up this issue about clingy exes, remember to let your head speak louder than your heart. You cannot joyride on their generosity and weakness any longer. The next time your ex shows up at your door wearing that ‘I hoped you would see my face and that you would be reminded that for me, it is not over’ look, you know what to conclude and how to act. Happy living!
Cheptoo’s husband, James was working as a security guard at the Gogar Farm in Rongai. Aware of their grand expectation, he worked extra shifts and did other casual jobs for a financial boost. Cheptoo was worried as to why the pregnancy had been so troubling unlike her first. However, just like any mother, she hoped for the best and devotedly continued with pre-natal care.
“However, the pregnancy must be terminated,” the doctor declared.
This disorder is more common in women than men. Those mostly affected are thin women with long waists, just like Cheptoo. The leading cause is deficiency in potassium which strengthens the tissue that supports the kidney (perirenal fascicle). Exerting too much pressure onto your abdomen area can also cause the disorder. This includes hard blows onto the abdomen area and heavy-weight lifting.
